Vanilla Gifts

Gift cards are already the most boring gift someone can give another person. Then, Visa and American Express decided to make gift cards even more generic by offering gift cards that work anywhere that accepts credit cards (so, everywhere).

Now, these cards have their place. I got mine for as a “thank you” for “services rendered.” That, however, will not stop me from pointing out that this particular gift card is called a Vanilla Gift:

Vanilla GiftRemember vanilla? One of the most common synonyms to plain there is? “Here you go, to show you how much you mean to me, the dullest present of them all,” I’d say. I don’t know whether it’s a gutsy thing to call it the Vanilla Gift or just uncreative, either way, at least I approve of the honesty.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

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