It’s the rules!

photo credit: A is for Angie via photopin cc
photo credit: A is for Angie via photopin cc
photo credit: A is for Angie via photopin cc

I have opinions on a lot of things. I spend my days coming up with opinions on things I previously held no opinion of. It doesn’t matter if it affects me, I need to have an opinion of whatever it is. I’m rarely coy when it comes to how I feel about things and really like to express my opinions. Normally, though, I don’t demand people agree with me or follow through with my advice. I do think it generally comes off that way since with even the most unimportant subjects I speak with conviction.

I imagine that, from time to time, people read or hear what I have to say and it sways their opinion. Gently. The thought of this gives me pleasure. Sometimes, however, I just want to shake a person until they’re forced to listen to me. Generally, these are my pet peeves that affect society, because I’m a man of the people! For instance, it really bugs me when someone holds open the doors of the subway to let one more person on. It’s really simple, if a train full of 100 people (5 cars of 20 people, easily achieved at rush hour) is held up 5 seconds, that’s over 8 minutes lost forever! If I was into macroeconomics, I could really dive into what a waste this is for society. (Although if that one person is of some importance…nevermind, not the rabbit hole I intend to go down.)

I consider myself a cyclist. I used ride much more often than I have in the past year, but after having carpal tunnel syndrome, followed by a broken arm, and an ailing shoulder, I haven’t really been healthy enough to do much biking. Still, I intend to ride again as soon as I can. I’m also one of those weird cyclists who obey traffic laws. So, far too many people, listen closely to what I’m about to say:

  1. A bike is ridden on the street, not the sidewalk.
  2. Crosswalks are not for cyclists, they are for pedestrians
  3. If a cyclist wishes to use a sidewalk or crosswalk, they are free to dismount their bike and walk with it.
  4. Oh, also, bikes have to stop at red lights and stop signs.

I’m very tired of people who don’t ride bikes hating on people who do ride bikes. This happens because a lot of cyclists are ruining everything for other cyclists and it gives people like me a bad name. Cyclists are all too often their own worst enemies.

I’ve stopped moving out of the way for people who ride bikes on the sidewalk. They can figure a way around me or move into the street like they should. There are very few places the road is so unsafe that riding a bike on the sidewalk is necessary. If that is the case, walking a bike is always an option. There aren’t special roads for people who can’t drive cars, same for bikes.

The other day I was driving my car and I approached a crosswalk that was not accompanied by a traffic light. Coming towards me on a bike path was someone riding a bike (on the wrong side). They got to the crosswalk and I continued to drive over it. As I passed the now stopped (but still bike-mounted) cyclist, he pointed towards the crosswalk sign in disgust. He was telling me I was in the wrong by pointing at a sign that indicates vehicles are supposed to stop for pedestrians. Up until this point in life, I had figured cyclists were just willingly breaking the law by disregarding most traffic laws. As it turns out, there are still people know don’t know what a pedestrian is. This is like people not realizing the movie Titanic was based on a true story. Walk the bike to use the crosswalk.

So, cyclists: when riding a bike, the rules are the same as driving a car.

I guess while I’m at it, motorists: cyclists have the same rights as any other vehicle.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

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