I have a smartphone (more specifically an HTC Aria running Android Froyo). The auto-correct feature for typing is pretty good and it allows you to add words to its dictionary that it might not otherwise have. It turns out, as of this morning, I have 217 words that I added to my dictionary and most of them are pretty silly. So here is the first part, letters A-D, with commentary:

• absinthe – The liquor I’ve always wanted to try, long banned in the U.S. and now forgotten by my phone
• AHAHAHAHA – Why can’t my phone understand laughter
• aight – Slang, I don’t blame my phone for not knowing it, it’s probably trying to teach me something anyhow
• Allston – Where I live, I wouldn’t think about it if I didn’t live their either
• aqua – Come on! Best band of all time!
• Arkham – Batman-related nonsense word.
• Aromando – Of course they wouldn’t think my last name is a word, look at it!
• ass – I get not auto correcting a word to this, but at least accept it is a word
• autospell – Ironic?
• Aw – I guess smartphones are against onamonapia
• Beastie – Beastie Boys!
• Beatnik’s – A bar
• beeped – I beeped my horn?
• Benson’s – Something belonged to Doug Benson
• bitch – See ass
• BJ – A nickname, eh, right?
• Blackstone – A canal/bar I apparently talk about sometimes (at least once)
• Blarney – Another bar…
• blogger – Why, smartphone, do you betray me?
• bloggers – Betray us?
• blogs – Betray them?
• bloodbath – Why did I need to type this?
• bloopers – I guess the auto-correct is biased against mistakes
• Blu-ray – I think I made up name in a dream
• Boba – At first I thought this was for Boba Tea, but wait until part 2 comes out with words that start with “F”
• boi – I must have been talking about Avril Lavigne
• Bon – Jovi?
• boobs – Smartphone? More like nerdphone if you don’t know what these are!
• booker’s – People who avoid my stand-up
• Booo – Auto-correct is trying to keep things positive
• Bowery – Place in NYC
• Brett – My brother and a co-worker, not sure who I was talking about
• bringer – Suckers you get to come see your comedy show
• Britney – I’m a huge Spears fan…
• broski – What I call a close chum
• broskis – What I call a group of my close chums
• Bruins – Hockey!
• bs – Yeah, maybe this isn’t a word
• BU – I live near the college
• c-word – At least I wasn’t adding the real word
• Carpe – Seize!
• Castine – A band
• Catwoman – A super tweener
• chase – This a real word, right?
• Chewbacca – And my obsession with Star Wars starts to become apparent
• Cinco – A family of products
• Clooney – I just can’t stop talking about George
• comedians – My “friends”
• congrats – Shorthand/fake word
• Costner – I talk about Kevin occasionally.
• Cutie – Death Cab
• d-bag – Fun time slang
• Davey – America
• Deftones – A band
• Dillinger – Probably for the band, Dillinger Escape Plan
• DMV – That place
• douche – Yet another real word
• dozes – I buy dozes of roses for my hunny
• dre – Probably for my friend Andre or when I’m texting Snoop Dogg about carpooling plans
• DTF – A harmless acronym
• DVD – Digital Versatile Disc
• DVDs – Digital Versatile Discs