Tag Archives: Android

Broken Boy

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I’m fragile. Sometimes emotionally, but right now I’m talking physically. Somewhere between playing videogames, being a full-time web developer, and writing for this blog, I hurt my wrists. (I know, it’s the easiest injury to make fun of in the world, but we can get over that, right?)
Well, I take great pleasure in writing this blog. The last thing I wanna do is take a break from writing so I’m sorry for the lack of updates recently. Luckily, I’ve got this great new cellphone that lets me talk to it and it types for me. Amazing, right? I’m speaking most of this post right now!
Well anyways, I just wanted to get it out there. (Obviously, I don’t need you to keep me in your prayers.) I’ll be back tomorrow, letting you all know just what I think about this whole Facebook/Instagram thing. I know you can’t wait…

Teaching a Phone to Talk (Part 3)

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I have a smartphone. The auto-correct feature for typing is pretty good and allows you to add words to the dictionary it might not otherwise have. As it would be, I have 217 words that I’ve added to my dictionary and most of them are pretty silly/unnecessary. Here is the third part (check out the first and second parts, if you missed them), letters P-Z, with commentary:

  • Palpatine – Senator/Chancellor/Emperor from Star Wars
  • peacing – How else would you leave someplace?
  • peeps – My people, my people made of marshmallows
  • penguins -Wait, plural for “penguin” isn’t “penguins?”
  • Phillies – Philadelphia, The
  • Philly – Philadelphia
  • podcasts – I agree with my phone on this one, I hate this word
  • probs – probably
  • punkass – I can’t remember using this word but I’m happy I did
  • Quaid – Was I talking about Dennis or Randy? Probs both.
  • Quincy – “City of Presidents“
  • rafting – Taking a flimsy boat down a river
  • rapper – PaRappa?
  • refreshes – Typical internet browser lingo
  • retweeted – Tell me you like what I have to say
  • rhinos – Careful when they charge
  • RI – Rhode Island
  • rizzle – real
  • Rodriques – Did I spell it wrong? I still don’t know
  • Roggie’s – A bar in Brighton, MA
  • RSVP – short for ReSerVPation
  • RT – see, retweeted
  • screwy – Not quite right, maybe a kind of OJ/vodka drink
  • scrobble – Last.fm does this with your music
  • Sealab – 2012
  • sext – Sexting, sex texting
  • sexting – see, sext
  • Shawn – a name
  • Shins – a band
  • shit – excrement
  • shittiest – the most excrement
  • sho – see, fo
  • sign-up – Get on the list!
  • slackers – People who don’t do much
  • smartphones – They can’t be too self-aware…yet
  • spinners – Do people still put these on their cars?
  • stank – Fill a place with a smell
  • steakhouse – a house, for steaks
  • Stoughton – The one place I’ve appeared on television as a comedian
  • sunblock – Safety first
  • t-shirts – opposed to v-necks
  • taco – a taco
  • TBS – Turner Broadcasting Station?
  • Thursdays – More than one day of thirst
  • tix – Tickets…for the show
  • tofu – Made up food, made up word
  • told – Wait, what? I taught my phone the word “told”
  • trending – …and another word I’m confident in
  • Triggs – Anthony
  • tripods – More than one midget…
  • trippy – “cool, freaky, groovy, amazing“
  • trolls – Villains of the internet
  • ttyl – Talk to you later!
  • Tuesdays – More than one Tuesday
  • Tweetdeck – The Twitter app I use
  • tweeted – The thing I did with Tweetdeck
  • tweeting – The thing I do with Tweetdeck
  • UCB – Upright Citizens Brigade
  • UCBeast – Upright Citizens Brigade Theater East
  • ur – your (for the simple minded)
  • v-neck – opposed to t-shirts
  • videogames – My all time favorite past time
  • w/e – whatever
  • WAAF – “The only station that really rocks!“
  • week’s – owned by the week
  • weirdo – Weirdo Al
  • WFST – A radio station I (thought) made up, where “Everything is Fast!”
  • whitener – For your teeth, certainly not mine
  • whooped – ‘cuz Stone Cold said so!
  • wildebeest – That herd of animals from The Lion King
  • Wolverine – Hugh Jackman’s secret identity
  • Worcester – My home town!
  • WTF – What the Fun?
  • WUT – WHAT?!?
  • wut – what?!?
  • xylophone – I had to check, but this is the correct spelling
  • za – and finally, my arch nemesis.

Teaching a Phone to Talk (Part 2)

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I have a smartphone (more specifically an HTC Aria running Android Froyo). The auto-correct feature for typing is pretty good and it allows you to add words to its dictionary that it might not otherwise have. It turns out, as of this morning, I have 217 words that I added to my dictionary and most of them are pretty silly. Here is the second part (check out the first part, if you missed it), letters E-O, with commentary:

  • emi – My (non-comedy, non-blogging) day job, a.k.a. the only one that pays
  • emo – Makes me sad I needed to type this into my phone, get’s me emotional
  • Ew – Something was gross
  • facewash – Keeping clean and talking about it for some reason
  • FB – Shorthand for Facebook
  • Firefox – My favorite browser
  • fireproof – Seems like a solid word
  • fo – Needed for typing “fo sho,” as in, “She was a ho… for sho“
  • foursquare – Probably the stalker app, not the game
  • Fridays – Am I not supposed to use the plural for days of the week? Ice Cube knows what I’m talking about
  • FTW – For The Win!
  • fuck – see ass
  • fucking – see fuck
  • Gino’s – Papa Gino’s!
  • goddamn – see ass, again
  • gritting – To clamp (the teeth) together
  • Gumps  – A nickname for my friend Peter, no real explanation here
  • Hah – Laughing!
  • Hahah – Laughing harder!
  • Han – Solo, I’m sure
  • Harpoon – My favorite brewery
  • hashtag – #hashtag
  • hater – haters gonna hate
  • hbo – Premium television channel
  • HD – Premium television technology
  • Hell – Where sinners go
  • Hipster – People who are hip
  • Hoagies – I agree with my phone on this one, what a gross, made-up word
  • Hula-hooping – The original toy, if I’m not mistaken
  • Hutt – Jabba the
  • IE6 – My least favorite browser
  • IM – Instant Messaging
  • improv – Short for improvisational comedy, both sound nerdy
  • IRL – In. Real. Life. (I hate myself for ever tying this)
  • j/k – Just kidding!
  • Jabba – the Hutt
  • Jared – From Subway?
  • Jarrod – Friend’s name
  • Jeanine – Friend’s name
  • Jenna – Friend’s name (the phone isn’t so much into common, proper names)
  • jp – Jamaica Plain?
  • Juli – To be fair, it should probably be Julie
  • Kebab – Delicious Mediterranean food, I was probably talking about Garlic & Lemons (who have a sweet, read: not sweet, web site right now)
  • Kenmore – An area of Boston
  • KL -Short, for Kevin Lyons
  • Knighted – To become a knight
  • Kona – Comedian Matt Kona
  • krystal – I might have been talking about Krystal Burger, my least favorite fast food joint
  • Lager – Beer!
  • Landry – Comedian Jeff Landry
  • LARP – Live Action Role Playing, I probably had a good joke to type that
  • Lenny’s – I have no idea, Lenny and Carl maybe?
  • mashups – Like Reese’s Cups
  • MassArt – A college
  • mbta – Boston’s public transit system, I’m sure I was complaining about it
  • mc – Probably referring to mc chris
  • meh – so-so
  • metrosexual – A lifestyle, borderline acceptable
  • miz – The Miz
  • mojito – Fancy mixed drink, best made while listening to the Black Eyed Peas (note: the only acceptable time to do so)
  • Mulligan -Rob Mulligan (or just a do-over)
  • nam – Back when I was in the war
  • Napster – Even smartphones have forgotten about it
  • NU – Northeastern University, my alma mater
  • nuanced – Totally a real word
  • Octoberfest – (Official) time to drink beer, perhaps spelled Oktoberfest
  • OJ – My favorite J, orange juice
  • Osama – Bin Laden, dead to the world, dead to my phone

Teaching a Phone to Talk (Part 1)

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I have a smartphone (more specifically an HTC Aria running Android Froyo). The auto-correct feature for typing is pretty good and it allows you to add words to its dictionary that it might not otherwise have. It turns out, as of this morning, I have 217 words that I added to my dictionary and most of them are pretty silly. So here is the first part, letters A-D, with commentary:

  • absinthe – The liquor I’ve always wanted to try, long banned in the U.S. and now forgotten by my phone
  • AHAHAHAHA – Why can’t my phone understand laughter
  • aight – Slang, I don’t blame my phone for not knowing it, it’s probably trying to teach me something anyhow
  • Allston – Where I live, I wouldn’t think about it if I didn’t live their either
  • aqua – Come on! Best band of all time!
  • Arkham – Batman-related nonsense word.
  • Aromando – Of course they wouldn’t think my last name is a word, look at it!
  • ass – I get not auto correcting a word to this, but at least accept it is a word
  • autospell – Ironic?
  • Aw – I guess smartphones are against onamonapia
  • Beastie – Beastie Boys!
  • Beatnik’s – A bar
  • beeped – I beeped my horn?
  • Benson’s – Something belonged to Doug Benson
  • bitch – See ass
  • BJ – A nickname, eh, right?
  • Blackstone – A canal/bar I apparently talk about sometimes (at least once)
  • Blarney – Another bar…
  • blogger – Why, smartphone, do you betray me?
  • bloggers – Betray us?
  • blogs – Betray them?
  • bloodbath – Why did I need to type this?
  • bloopers – I guess the auto-correct is biased against mistakes
  • Blu-ray – I think I made up name in a dream
  • Boba – At first I thought this was for Boba Tea, but wait until part 2 comes out with words that start with “F”
  • boi – I must have been talking about Avril Lavigne
  • Bon – Jovi?
  • boobs – Smartphone? More like nerdphone if you don’t know what these are!
  • booker’s – People who avoid my stand-up
  • Booo – Auto-correct is trying to keep things positive
  • Bowery – Place in NYC
  • Brett – My brother and a co-worker, not sure who I was talking about
  • bringer – Suckers you get to come see your comedy show
  • Britney – I’m a huge Spears fan…
  • broski – What I call a close chum
  • broskis – What I call a group of my close chums
  • Bruins – Hockey!
  • bs – Yeah, maybe this isn’t a word
  • BU – I live near the college
  • c-word – At least I wasn’t adding the real word
  • Carpe – Seize!
  • Castine – A band
  • Catwoman – A super tweener
  • chase – This a real word, right?
  • Chewbacca – And my obsession with Star Wars starts to become apparent
  • Cinco – A family of products
  • Clooney – I just can’t stop talking about George
  • comedians – My “friends”
  • congrats – Shorthand/fake word
  • Costner – I talk about Kevin occasionally.
  • Cutie – Death Cab
  • d-bag – Fun time slang
  • Davey – America
  • Deftones – A band
  • Dillinger – Probably for the band, Dillinger Escape Plan
  • DMV – That place
  • douche – Yet another real word
  • dozes – I buy dozes of roses for my hunny
  • dre – Probably for my friend Andre or when I’m texting Snoop Dogg about carpooling plans
  • DTF – A harmless acronym
  • DVD – Digital Versatile Disc
  • DVDs – Digital Versatile Discs

Words That Lose Friends

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I’m an avid player of Words with Friends, a Scrabble-like game for smartphones and Facebook. The trick to the game is not really having a big vocabulary, but more so to have absolute understanding of all the world’s short and somewhat cheap words (I’m looking at you, “qi.”)

Recently I stumbled across the word “za,” an officially recognized word, which is slang for pizza. Even right now my spell check has a wavy red line under both “qi” and “za” and my phone’s text editor made me add “za” to its dictionary in order to use it. “Za” is the worst example of a word I’ve ever seen. Presum-ably it’s more of an weird contraction, instead of saying “pizza,” one would just say “‘za,” as in, “Hey, wanna go out and get some ‘za?” (I both hate the idea of this sentence and love the idea of using it just to be an ass) Everyone I’ve ever brought this to the attention to has been just as baffled as me to why this horrendous word is allowed to live.

For some reason the official Android Market page for the the app encourages its use by showing “za” in a sample screenshot:

If you’re out there listening, Words with Friends people, you need to get rid of this non-word immediately. It’s making a mockery of social online gaming…