A kidnapping joke

photo credit: pointnshoot via photopin cc
photo credit: pointnshoot via photopin cc
photo credit: pointnshoot via photopin cc

When I write for my stand-up act, jokes or bits or whatever, it usually starts with a weird idea popping into my head or starts with me seeing or doing something I’d like to poke fun at. I don’t often sit down to write jokes. I’ll sit down to finish ideas and work on them but not to start them. It’s probably why I’m so inconsistent at tweeting.

Of course, I think a lot of stuff is funny. I’m laughing all day long, really. I laugh on my commute, I laugh at rehearsals, sometimes I’ll even laugh my way to the bank. Most of that stuff would never be funny to an actual audience, so it get’s scrapped (or I write about it here because I don’t have to suffer through the silence. Sure, it won’t many “likes” but nothing ever does!)

Recently, I thought of something I can’t imagine trying to struggle through on stage or in a sketch (the first part should be pronounced slowly for optimal effect):

The Hambur-ger Alert, for when your delicious all-beef patty* goes missing!

*I wasn’t sure if “patty” should be spelled this way or “paddy” so I searched for “all-beef paddy” to see if Google would correct me. Turns out “All Beef Patty” is a stage name (of course it is) of someone who received the “Novelty Act” designation on America’s Got Talent (of course they did) and is also this person. I also learned more about America’s Got Talent just looking that up than I ever thought I’d learn about, as they cool kids say, AGT.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

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