USA Defense Battery

USA Defense Battery

One of my all time favorite quotes from The Simpsons, “Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.” Well, a couple of years ago I found what they were talking about…

USA Defense Battery
Photo by Matt Aromando (South Carolina, March 2008)

The USA Defense Battery. I didn’t count each firework individually (and some are cut off) but by my estimation (and I’ve always been good about counting jelly beans in a jar) there are a whole bunch of them: 32 \times 25 = 800 firecrackers. Granted, they look like weak, little firecrackers but when considering how many of them there are it probably puts on a pretty good show. Maybe a little tiring, though. As for the name, I’m not sure how good of a defense this would put up, seems American though, quantity over quality and all.

Maybe I seem like I’m ragging on it a little too much. Truth be told, I would love to light one of these off and just sit back for who-knows-how-long and watch it go. Happy 4th of July, America! And England, well, keep calm and carry on.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *