Politics

Some people call it “drama,” or maybe “bullshit,” but what they’re talking about is politics. It’s annoying and blinds good judgement. I feel like even though I know it’s a bad thing, I can’t help but be affected by it. For instance, today I was thinking about writing a complimentary post about something in my life but I was recently disappointed by this thing, so I’m not writing that nice piece anymore. In a roundabout way, I’m being motivated not to do something for political reasons, even though I doubt anyone knows what I’m talking about nor cares.

Deciding not to write that other blog post reminded me of this time in elementary school I did basically the same thing. Let’s say it was 3rd grade (might have been 2nd or 4th, doesn’t matter. Me = little kid). Our class decided to hold an election for class president, I don’t remember this person gaining any authority or privileges, it just seemed like a cool title to have as a kid, so I put myself in the running. To help sweeten the pot, I asked my mom if we could go out and buy a board game to give to the class (10-years before I could vote, and I already understood campaigning). We went to the store and bought Trouble, a solid choice for kids—though a game I now realize is stupid (much like Candy Land. That’s right, Candy Land is stupid).

I brought my game into class, very proud of myself for procuring it. As it turns out though, another kid went out and got FIVE board games to give to the class, including Shark Attack (a more specific, higher stakes, kind of “trouble”). So I lost the election, kids love toys and I couldn’t match the competition (perhaps this is why I have it out for lobbyists and so many big corporations). Partially because I was selfish, partly because I was bitter, and most importantly because I was a kid, I kept the game of Trouble for myself. When I came home with it, my mom asked why I still had the game with me, I said that I lost the election so the class couldn’t have the game. Obviously, and rightly, she was under the impression, win or lose, I would still give the game to the class. So, what I should do is just write the post I was going to write in the first place and not be a child about it. But here I am, refusing to learn from my mistakes, just like in real politics.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

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