Slang to Help Doctors Slice & Dice

This post’s title is merely a play off someone else’s blog post, Cynicism and People Cutting you into Little Pieces, over at VeryUnloved. It was a blog I sort of stumbled upon by chance, but they had an amusing post about all the slang terms that doctors use for patients.

Some of my favorites:

AGA – Acute Gravity Attack (fell over)
ELFs – Evil Little F*ckers (irritating children)
Fighting Darwin – patients refusing essential treatment through stubborness or stupidity
FINE – F*cked up , insecure, neurotic & emotional
JAR or JAR Syndrome – Just Ain’t Right (often used when a patient has multiple issues)

And the particularly brutal:

CTD – Circling the Drain (Close To Death)

Check it out! (I’m finally starting to be a real blogger!*)

*Alternate parenthetical: “Yo, dawg, I heard you like blogs, so I posted about a blog in my blog, so now you can blog while you blog.” I didn’t go with it because I don’t want people to think today was my first day on the internet in 5 years.

By Matt Aromando

Stand-up, improv, and sketch comedian.

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