There are plenty of words out there that you’d want describing a gift you’re giving to someone (ex. awesome, great, alluring) and there are some obviously undesirable words (ex. terrible, inappropriate, bad). Here is my list of words that aren’t obviously poor gift descriptions but they’re really no good:
- Useful – It is a good thing if a present is useful, it’s just not all that flattering of a thing to say about a gift. You want someone to say, “I love it,” “I’ve always wanted one of these,” or “Wow, I’ve never seen one of these before!” Not, “Oh, this is useful.” That is a polite way of telling someone they don’t know how to describe the gift they just got and that they probably don’t like it or at least they wish you got them something more fun.
- Big – A gift might be big in a good way, “Oh. My. God. You got me a new car!” and that’s fine. Though, your gift recipient describing the present you got them as big is a red flag if that’s the first thing they notice about it, or worse, all they can say about it. Big is not a good quality on its own. If someone got a car as a present, they would talk about the color, model, or how much it must have cost the buyer, not that it was big (even though it’s true) and for good reason.
- Seasonal – Some people like this kind of stuff but guess what happens if you get someone a Christmas themed anything for Christmas? At most they get to enjoy it for a few weeks before packing it up for the next 11 months. At worst they enjoy it for a few hours and then Christmas is over and as they pack it up they mutter “Thanks for the present…” under their breath. You wouldn’t buy a kid a Super Soaker for their birthday if it fell on Labor Day, same logic.
- Keepsake – Ah, my inspiration for writing this little blog post. The other day I got an email asking me if I wanted to buy some book as a keepsake. If you just look at how the word keepsake is assembled it means, literally, something for the sake of keeping. Not, “I’ll keep this because it’s nice” or “pretty” or because I “like it,” but just for the sake of keeping it. Just some dead weight, to own, forever! Sentimental things are good but you need a better selling point than just, “Why not?”
- Ambiguous – Nothing brings a gift exchange to a halt like someone not knowing what it is they just received. Particularly in a Yankee swap or Secret Santa style thing with a lot of people participating. That just invites an awkward explanation for whoever bought the unidentifiable object in question. This could be salvaged if the present is truly amazing, just make sure it isn’t a Lucky Origami Star Jar which I think is the worst legitimate attempt at a present I’ve ever seen.
There you have it, my 5 words of death for describing a bad present, please try to avoid them. If you have any to add to the list I encourage you to comment with them below or send them my way on Twitter, I’d love to hear some!
Useful – I will use it, but I will not enjoy doing it.